Why You Shouldn’t “Help” Your Mother with Household Chores?
We’ve all heard it: “Be a good child and help your mother with her chores.” It’s one of those remarks made with the greatest of intentions. But have you ever paused to consider what it truly means? The idea of assisting your mother suggests that the household responsibilities are solely her duty. It’s as if we’re suggesting that maintaining a clean, tidy, and functional home is exclusively her responsibility, and we’re just coming in to help.
In today’s society, where gender equality and women’s empowerment are openly addressed and promoted, we must question this paradigm. The home belongs to everyone who lives in it, and maintaining it should be everyone’s responsibility — not just the moms or women in the household. By stating that you’re “helping” with domestic tasks, you unwittingly support the notion that housework is inherently a woman’s job and that, as a male or younger member of the household, you’re just contributing out of kindness.
When we use the phrase “helping your mom with chores,” we unintentionally reinforce an old, outdated belief: that a woman’s primary responsibility is to manage the home. Even though society has made significant progress toward gender equality, this thinking persists in many homes. By framing housework as something you help with, you acknowledge that it is someone else’s responsibility — most likely your mother’s.
This mentality is harmful for several reasons.
It diminishes the concept of shared responsibility: Household tasks are not a favor to others. They are tasks that benefit the entire household. If you reside in the house, you share the same duty for keeping it clean, cooking, and organizing as everyone else. When everyone sees duties as shared obligations, the home environment becomes more balanced and fair.
It reinforces gender roles: Women have historically been viewed as the primary caregivers in the home. Even though many women today work outside the home and contribute monetarily, they are still expected to perform the majority of household chores. By stating you’re “helping,” you reinforce the notion that housework is exclusively a woman’s responsibility.
It undermines equality: Women have long struggled for equal opportunity in the workplace and at home. To fully encourage gender equality, we must abandon the notion that household work is primarily the responsibility of women. It’s time to accept that everyone, regardless of gender, carries the load equally.
It Sets the Wrong Example: If you have younger siblings or children, using the term “helping” can set a bad example for them. They may grow up feeling that domestic chores are something they only help with, rather than something they are responsible for as equal members of the household.
Changing the Narrative: Why It Is Important
Let us change the story. Consider doing your share rather than aiding your mother. Household chores are a necessary part of life. We all eat, wear clothes, and live in areas that require cleaning. As a result, caring for our houses should never be viewed as a one-person job or a gender-specific responsibility. It’s everyone’s responsibility.
So, what should we do instead?
Reframe our language: Instead of saying “I’m helping mom with the chores,” use “I’m doing my part.” It eliminates the concept of helping others and replaces it with the belief that housework is everyone’s responsibility.
Practice Equal Division of Labor: Whether living with family, friends, or a partner, distribute housework fairly. Everyone should contribute equally, regardless of their work outside the home.
Household duties are not duties you help with; they are responsibilities you both share. By adjusting our vocabulary and attitudes toward housekeeping, we may foster a more fair, balanced, and respectful home atmosphere. Remember that when you take responsibility for your role in keeping the family, you not only contribute to the cleanliness of your home but also to the empowerment of the women around you.
So, the next time you consider assisting your mother, remind yourself that you are not assisting, but rather doing your part!
